Category: Joke Board
FAMOUS QUOTES BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA:
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- George W. Bush
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- George W. Bush
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
- Governor George W. Bush
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
- Governor George W. Bush
"The future will be better tomorrow."
- Governor George W. Bush
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- Governor George W. Bush
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- Governor George W. Bush
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
- Governor George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
- Governor George W. Bush
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- Governor George W. Bush
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Governor George W. Bush
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- Governor George W. Bush
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- Governor George W. Bush
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Governor George W. Bush
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- Governor George W. Bush
yes. okay then
oh damn. hahahaha
*laughing* I love reading those, even though I never seem to catch them whenever I do decide to listen to his speeches. One of my favorite ones, although it's not listed here yet, is, "They misunderestimated me." *smiles*
He really is an imbecile Lol
Hey don't you go pickn on imbeciles now !! LOL
Its too easy and not much fun..smile
Hahaha. Lol, I'm an american and totally despise president bush, so that tells you something, lol.
What can you expect from a president who can't eat pretzels without choking on them.
That brings up some comedy lines about that incident:
"
President Bush was munching on some pretzels when he choked and fainted. All this time we were worrying about Osama bin Laden, turns out he was almost done-in
by Mr. Salty." —Jay Leno
"Now you'll be glad to know the president will practice safe snacks." —First Lady Laura Bush, discussing her husband's pretzel mishap, on the Tonight Show
With Jay Leno
"Our president is in town, George W. Bush. It's a fundraiser. They're being very creative, you've got to give them credit. For $10,000 you can give George
Bush the Heimlich Maneuver." —David Letterman
"President Bush this week said that between going to war and raising twins, he'd pick war. His daughters Jenna and Barbara then sent him a big bag of pretzels
for the Super Bowl." —Dennis Miller
"Here's good news, President Bush has recovered from the pretzel choking episode. I tell you, I never thought I would hear 'White House' and 'gag-reflex'
in the same sentence again." —David Letterman
"Earlier tonight, George W. Bush gave his State of the Union. Here's what George W. set as his agenda. He has three goals. One, fight terrorism. Number
two, he's going to improve the economy. And number three, he's going to do his best not to pass out during the Super Bowl." —David Letterman
"President Bush got through the Super Bowl without event. The Secret Service pre-chewed his pretzels." —David Letterman
"Yesterday, President Bush unveiled a $38 billion dollar homeland security plan. The president said that under the new plan, we can wipe out the threat
of pretzels in our lifetime." —Conan O'Brien
"Today the Hart Senate building was re-opened after all traces of anthrax were removed. In a related story, the White House was re-opened today as well,
after all traces of pretzel were removed." —Conan O'Brien
"Poor guy, he blacked out and hit the ground and he was out for four seconds. Fortunately, those were the same four seconds that Dick Cheney was conscious
yesterday." —David Letterman
"A doctor on TV today said the reason this happened to President Bush is because he has lower than average blood pressure. Can't this guy ace one test in
his life. All his numbers are lower than average." —Jay Leno
"Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel." —David Letterman
"Earlier today, Bush's cabinet told him that they had nothing to do with helping Enron. Bush had trouble swallowing that as well." —David Letterman
"Over the weekend, the President passed out after choking on a pretzel. Better than the old days, when he used to choke on vowels. Remember that?" —Jay
Leno
"I guess what happened was, Bush passed out, banged his head on a table, then came to a few seconds later. Today Bush said it was just like being back in
college." —Jay Leno
"My favorite thing about this so far is that on MSNBC the other day they were calling President Bush's dogs heroes, because they 'kept guard' over him while
he was passed out. The dogs aren't heroes, they were just waiting to see how long he would be passed out, so they could steal his pretzels and eat them."
—Jay Leno
"They are taking this pretty seriously. White House staffers spent all day yesterday child-proofing the residence." —Jay Leno
"They ran to get Dick Cheney, and they realized nobody could remember the undisclosed location he was hiding in." —Jay Leno
lol, those're helareous!